When Past Meets Present
by Kattikit
Summary: Daniel has finally found a place that he can stay. But a strange visitor brings his past back into the light – most of which he would rather stay hidden. StargateHighlander crossover.
1. In the infirmary

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never have been. Wish they were.  
  
Spoilers: Up to Meridian in Stargate, not got a clue yet in Highlander, but won't really matter as I plan on explaining everything at some point and I'm not exactly an expert myself.  
  
Summary: Daniel has finally found a place that he can stay. But a strange visitor brings his past back into the light – most of which he would rather stay hidden. Stargate/Highlander crossover.  
  
A/N: I know it's been done before, but so has just about every other story out there at least once. Please be nice, this is my first fic and it would mean so much to this poor little author's heart if I could have some nice reviews. PLEASE!!! Constructive criticisms welcomed, flames put back on the fire where they belong. And now to the story.  
  
Dr Daniel Jackson; currently an archaeologist, anthropologist and linguist, had just spilt coffee on his work.  
  
"Damn."  
  
He jumped up, pushing his papers to safety away from the rapidly spreading brown liquid on the tabletop. He groaned quietly to himself: This was so not going to be his day. He felt the all too familiar scalding sensation, and watched as a blue light whizzed across his hand, healing all signs of his recent burns. 'Oh it's great to be immortal.' He grabbed the box of tissues and started to mop up the coffee, wishing that his quickening would extend to his now illegible translations he had spent the last hour working on. Just as he had sat down and picked up his pen again, the door flew open revealing a very disgruntled Colonel Jack O'Neil.  
  
"Why, oh why do we have to have check-ups?" he moaned before collapsing into a nearby chair.  
  
"Already?" said Daniel, who had not looked up from his new translations; slightly different from the previous one he had spent so long on.  
  
"Yes. And if you don't get your butt down there right now..."  
  
"Let me guess. Janet threatened you with needles again." Daniel interrupted.  
  
"No" said Jack, looking a little ashamed "The nurses. Hey, they can be really vicious when they want to be!" he protested at Daniel's laugh.  
  
Daniel just turned back to his work. "OK, but just let me finish..."  
  
He didn't even have time to finish his sentence. With speed usually reserved for battle situations Jack jumped up, grabbed Daniel's arm and forcefully dragged him out of the room. After checking Daniel over for injuries Jack let go, waiting to see what response this would earn him.  
  
"Well I'll just be going to the infirmary then, shall I?"  
  
"Thata boy!" smiled Jack cheekily. "And give old doc Frasier my regards" He yelled after Daniel.  
  
"Will do" Daniel called down the corridor, almost bumping into two airmen coming down the other way. 'You know it's amazingly easy to act clumsy around this place' he thought to himself sarcastically.  
  
He arrived in the infirmary to find Janet finishing her examination of Sam, who's face broke into a smile as soon as she saw who had just walked in.  
  
"Hi Daniel. I see the colonel found you at last."  
  
"Yes Sam, I know I am late again. It's not my fault! If you gave me a half hour warning each time I might even be early."  
  
"If we were lucky." Joked Jack, who had just sidled through the door. "Now, I think my work here is done Janet. One mostly uninjured Daniel, in return for no nurses. Or needles." He added quickly.  
  
"Well now that you have finally arrived we can get started." Janet said, shooing Sam out of the room.  
  
"Yeah, I'd better get going too. Hammond wants that stupid report in for PX... whatever. You know, the pink planet."  
  
"Bye Jack."  
  
"Enjoy." Grinned Jack as the door was pushed shut by Janet. She and Daniel waited until the footsteps had faded into nothing, and then relaxed.  
  
"Do you realise just how hard it is to make sure you're alone for these exams?"  
  
"Well this time you didn't exactly have to try that hard. Teal'c is in his room, Sam can't exactly stay, and Jack, amazingly, left on his own. And personally I'm much more grateful to you for faking my results all these years." They both smiled, remembering just how many times Daniel had to pretend to be unconscious while Janet changed the test results or fooled the monitors.  
  
Janet was the one person at the SGC who actually knew exactly what Daniel was. The only reason she knew at all was because no one else on base was quite as healthy as he was – all the time. She had actually found out extremely quickly, almost immediately in fact...  
  
****Flashback****  
  
"Hi, I'm Dr Frasier."  
  
Daniel automatically pulled back, his instinct of avoiding doctors even worse than the plague kicking in. But eventually he took the offered hand and smiled back saying "Daniel Jackson."  
  
"Well if you'll just step over here then we can get started."  
  
Things were going pretty well, until she asked him for a blood sample...  
  
"No!" he shouted, more fiercely than he had intended. But this didn't put Janet off.  
  
"Come on. Don't be a baby." She said in the tones of one well used to this reaction. "You were getting on so well. It won't hurt, it's only a few drops of blood that you don't need anyway, and then it will all be over."  
  
But this wasn't what Daniel was worried about. He was more scared that she might accidentally see the quickening working on the puncture in his skin. But he knew that refusing would only cause suspicion, and so he eventually held out his arm, praying that he could cover it up before she could see anything. He almost made it. She was just turning around, when she saw a small blue light where she had just injected her patient. It was so quick she almost didn't see it, and so decided to check for herself.  
  
"Oh dear," she said, dropping Daniel's blood sample and treading on it to make sure it spilled. She blushed, hoping that Daniel would not be suspicious "I'm really sorry about this. You don't mind if I take another one do you?"  
  
She barely waited for an answer before grabbing another needle, leaving Daniel thankful that he had supposedly not been noticed, but also hoping that he could manage it again. Yet again she injected him, this time remaining to watch the blue light come again. She held Daniel's gaze for a moment before saying "There's nothing you want to tell me, is there?"  
  
And so he told her everything. From his first death (he was over 200 years old!) to the quickening and the game. There was just something about her that made him trust her almost immediately, something that would come in handy later on.  
  
****End Flashback**** 


	2. The new arrivals

A/N: THANKYOU SO MUCH to all my reviewers. * wipes an imaginary tear from her eyes* You really made this new little authors day.  
  
"So, what deadly disease shall I have today?" Daniel spoke, breaking them out of their concentration.  
  
"How about being perfectly healthy for once?"  
  
"Oh come on Janet, I used that excuse last time. And besides, that's much too boring."  
  
"OK then, how about just a mild cold? Think you can cope with sneezing and taking some pills every now and then? Or is that too taxing for an amateur actor like yourself."  
  
"Thanks Janet" he grinned as he was handed a box of pills. "I think I might..." he paused dramatically as he sneezed loudly "...just be able to cope with that. I have had a couple of centuries to perfect it you know."  
  
"Yes, unfortunately I know all too well." She stopped, put her clipboard down beside her to fill in later, and sat down on a chair opposite Daniel. "So, how are things going on the immortal side of things?"  
  
"Pretty good. I have been really lucky, I haven't seen or felt anyone since I came here." He smiled "I suppose it helped that I haven't been either on this planet or off this base much apart from when people have taken me out of here. And that's only if they can drag me away. I'm amazed we haven't met an alien immortal actually. Especially since so many of them originated on Earth."  
  
"They might just be keeping their heads down."  
  
"Yeah, that's what any sensible immortal would do. It's a pity I'm not one of them really, then I probably wouldn't have died so many times in front of people. Jack would kill me, or try to, if he heard me say this; but thank God for the sarcophagus."  
  
"Yes, but thank God for the quickening as well, otherwise you would have become terribly addicted to it years ago." She thought about this a moment "But what actually happened on Shyla's planet? You were addicted then, weren't you?"  
  
"I wondered that myself. I guess that not even my quickening can totally stop its effects. Maybe it just took longer because its addictive qualities are so strong and because I had so much exposure in such a short time."  
  
"It's certainly possible."  
  
Daniel glanced at the clock on the wall in front of him and jumped up suddenly.  
  
"Sorry. Gotta go. Promised to have lunch with Jack right now and he really will kill me if I'm late."  
  
"OK." Janet laughed as he rushed out of the door.  
  
*****************  
  
"3.57...3.58...3.59..."  
  
The rest of SG1 were sitting down in the commissary, their trays full, waiting for Daniel to arrive. Sam and Teal'c were just waiting quietly, while Jack hadn't stopped counting since they'd arrived 4 minutes ago.  
  
"You should desist this manner of counting, Colonel O'Neil."  
  
"4.03...4.04...4.05...4.06..."  
  
"3...4.04...4.05...4.06..."  
  
"You know Teal'c is right sir. I'm sure he doesn't mean to be late. Janet probably just over ran with her exam."  
  
Jack looked up from his watch. "I know that. I just want something to bug him about, that's all. 4.15...4.16..."  
  
"It's only been 4 minutes."  
  
"4.19...4.20 I know 4.21...422...423..."  
  
The other two members of SG1 shared a glance. They had been talking to him like this for the whole time. Maybe it was time to change tactics...  
  
"Well then I'm sure you won't mind if we tell him to time you next time you're late for something."  
  
This definitely caught his attention. "4.2...Hey" he whinged "I'm never late for anything! Its Daniel who's always keeps us waiting."  
  
"And we all know you love him for it."  
  
"Don't be too sure about that." He stopped as he remembered what he was doing. "Damn it Carter, you made me loose count!"  
  
"Glad to hear it" she smirked. "Sir." She added hastily when she saw the teasing glare sent her way. It was at this point that Daniel rushed up to meet them with his tray.  
  
"Really sorry I'm late guys. My exam went on a little longer than expected."  
  
Sam's look told Jack exactly what she wanted to say, almost resulting in a not very well aimed spoonful of food in her face.  
  
"Did I miss anything?" said Daniel, puzzled at their behaviour.  
  
"Nothing much." Sam's smile at this point reached from ear to ear. Jack made an instant decision to change the subject before Sam could say anything else.  
  
"So, did you hear its recruiting time again?"  
  
"No, who've they conned into joining us this time Jack?"  
  
"They haven't conned anyone. They've only signed up two newbies this time. Major... erm...Captain...erm..."  
  
"Captains Cooper and Trimmer. They just transferred from some place down south," said Sam with an exasperated sigh. Something told Daniel that Sam had been saying this a lot.  
  
"Nice."  
  
"General Hammond asked that you could meet them sir."  
  
"Really? I wasn't paying attention."  
  
This made both Daniel and Sam burst out laughing before quickly suppressing it. Teal'c just looked like his impassive self.  
  
"Hey, stop ganging up on me! Well at least Teal'c is still with me, aren't you Teal'c?"  
  
He put an arm around Teal'c who just looked down at it, a smile tugging at his lips.  
  
"I am afraid that I must concur with Daniel Jackson and Major Carter. You must listen to General Hammond more, otherwise you will miss important information which could help you in battle situations."  
  
This just caused Daniel and Jack to laugh even harder, only stopping when an airman came up to them.  
  
"I'm sorry sirs, ma'am, but General Hammond requests your presence in the briefing room." Said the man, before quickly retreating from Jack's look.  
  
"Well, I suppose we should go and meet the new kids." He said, pushing his chair back and standing up. The others quickly followed suit, and before they knew it they were walking up the stairs to the briefing room. Daniel felt a familiar feeling, but he couldn't quite place it until he actually reached the room above.  
  
"Everyone, I'd like you to meet Captain Cooper and Captain Trimmer. They will be joining SG9 and 13"  
  
It was the presence of another immortal.  
  
A/N: Oh sorry, was that a cliffhanger? And I'm going to have to leave you there till Monday – I'm going out for the weekend. I'll try and have 2 chapters ready for then to make up for it. Sorry! :-) 


	3. Old lives

A/N: So maybe I didn't quite get to 2 chapters, but this one is longer! Sorry the chapters are really short, but it's either this or taking about a month to update which you probably wouldn't want. More action WILL be coming soon, but I've just got to get all the boring bits out of the way, OK?  
  
THANKYOU TO ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!  
  
Bakajin, BizzyLizzy, CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur, Kat, RUpuzzled2? and Fica: Thanks SO much. Your reviews really mean so much to me.  
  
Jezowen: OC, but some of the others will make an appearance later on.  
  
Icealina: To my first reviewer, flowers all round. Sorry to disappoint you, but I could never be that nice. HE HE HE!  
  
***********  
  
Daniel froze, his face visibly paler. This was an event that he'd managed to avoid for years, and he wasn't pleased with it happening again. The other man, Captain Cooper, didn't seem surprised or even wary of Daniel's presence, and almost no one else in the room even noticed Dandles adverse reaction to one of the new recruits.  
  
'Daniel doesn't look too good, I hope he's OK. Maybe he was just given some new medicine by Janet or something. I'll have to check when we're finished here.' were Jacks only thoughts before he grinned widely and reached out to shake their hands. "Nice to meet you. Don't you mind the general, he's a big pussycat really. From Texas" he added as an afterthought, noting the way that while Captain Trimmer remained unmoving and serious, Captain Cooper had to move quickly to disguise his grin. 'There's one who's not afraid of having a laugh. I like him already'  
  
It looked like General Hammond couldn't quite keep his face serious either, though he tried to show disapproval on his features. "This is Colonel Jack O'Neil of SG1."  
  
"Hiya." the aforesaid man beamed.  
  
"Major Samantha Carter."  
  
She smiled friendly and nodded to them.  
  
"Doctor Daniel Jackson, resident archaeologist and linguist."  
  
By this time Daniel had recovered from his initial shock enough to put on the fake smile he was so good at doing by now, not only for Captain Trimmers sake but also his own, and managed to say "Hi" before Hammond moved on.  
  
"And this is Teal'c." who nodded and tried to look slightly less intimidating.  
  
'It's OK,' thought Daniel trying to calm himself down 'Captain Trimmer seems nice enough, if a little military. But captain Cooper...how the hell did he get into the army?' He tried to calm himself down. 'But you never know, he might not even want to fight. We might even become good friends!' This suggestion didn't help Daniel much; in truth he was still terrified. He hadn't fought in years, always preferring to avoid conflict at all, and he feared that the little practice he'd had could result in his death. But even worse, if he won the fight then people would question how he died, and because this was the SGC where anything could happen there would be a massive investigation that he would have to run from before they found anything. And if someone saw him fight he probably wouldn't have time to run at all. Either way his life at the SGC as Dr Daniel Jackson was ruined.  
  
He could still remember his first days of being an immortal...  
  
****Flashback****  
  
1813 in the north of Spain, and a 31 year old British soldier (A/N: Sorry, I decided to claim him for England – this way I can write about history I actually know about rather than make it up as I go along. Blame the stupid history teachers who teach everyone's history except for Americas) called Richard Daniels is on the march. Her joined the army when he was sixteen to escape the law and his whore of a mother, and in his fifteen years in the army he had never been promoted, in this army was never likely to, and he hated the bloody frogs. If only they would give up then he could get out of the hellhole that was war, but for the moment he was quite content with taking out all his anger on those who had caused it – the frogs, and the officers.  
  
"Permission to step out of the ranks sir?"  
  
"Granted."  
  
"I hope you don't mind me asking, sir, but where the bloody'ell are we?" Private Jack Harper, Richards best mate said sarcastically. "It's not that we don't trust your judgement sir, but we haven't seen 'ide nor 'air of anyone since that bloody abandoned village a week back."  
  
"Are you questioning my judgement private?" said Sir Roger Pompingdale pompously.  
  
Jack grinned at the others behind him "No sir."  
  
"Good, then don't. Carry on."  
  
Jack waited a moment, before going back. "I told you he doesn't have a clue. We're lucky the crapauds haven't found us yet."  
  
"He says that we'll be in France soon."  
  
"Who gives a damn." barked Richard "It's not like we're going to be going there any time soon, this is the forth time we've walked through this pass in a week."  
  
"Oh yeah," said Private Perkings from the back "And how'd you figure that one out?"  
  
Richard just pointed to the rock they were walking along. "Well who do you think drew that, I've only got two hands you know, and one of them is a bit busy with my pack." Drawn along the wall were three wobbly lines of chalk. "I ran out of chalk about half a mile back." He explained.  
  
"Come on you lazy bastards, get moving." the sergeant shouted at them.  
  
So they hurried up, but they had hardly walked a hundred yards when suddenly a battalion of French cavalry ambushed them. They didn't even have time to form square. They tried to gather together, but they were too far apart to start with and the French were too well organised. It was a bloody massacre. Richard managed to hold his own for a while, but then he saw Jack cut from behind, and he fell to the floor. Richard tried to run towards him, but a cavalryman who had fallen to the ground appeared suddenly in front of him and stabbed him in his chest. He sank to his knees, and the last thoughts he had before he fell into unconsciousness, and then further into death were 'And I never even got to see France'.  
  
He woke up two days later, and he proceeded to check if he was still intact. When this was made certain, he looked only to find himself lying besides a fire just round the corner from where he 'died'. The area was completely clear, except for a single cross, which marked the site of a mass grave. He then felt a massive headache, and Private Henry Jenkins walked round the corner.  
  
"Hello." said Henry, all too cheerfully for Richards liking.  
  
"They're dead, aren't they."  
  
It wasn't even a question, it was a fact. "I'm sorry Rich, but you'd have had to leave them behind anyway. Perhaps it's better this way."  
  
Richard was astonished. This was the most he'd ever heard from the small, lithe private who had a tendency to stay out of the way. He should have been easy pickings for the sergeants to bully, but for some strange reason the day he arrived Sergeant Savage had a black eye, and told everyone to "stay away from Jenkins if you want your body intact in the morning". And so Henry had just ambled his way along in the army, seemingly quite happy where he was.  
  
"Oh well, perhaps it was time to move on anyway."  
  
But Richard still couldn't get past his initial feelings. "I should be dead." he looked into Henrys all too understanding eyes. "I felt the bugger kill me."  
  
Henry seemed to ponder this for a moment. "Well why don't you come with me and find out why.  
  
And so Richard had followed Henry, learned all about his immortality, and became Jack Danielson in honour of his late fallen friend.  
  
****End Flashback****  
  
So what do you think? Please tell me if I make any mistakes, I just went through the last 2 chapters and saw so many which I am in the process of updating right now. So REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Please?)  
  
By the way, if anyone can guess where I got some of the names and all my info about the Napoleonic war (yes, that is what war he is fighting) then I will be very impressed (and shocked!!!) Bet no one can though :-) 


	4. Guided tour

Wow, I finally got round to writing some more! Thanks a lot RUpuzzled2? for your continued encouragement and support, and for telling me what you really thought. I know it that might be a little confusing at the moment, but all WILL be explained in about 2 chapters if all goes to plan. After all I'm going to need to explain this to Jack, and that will need to be simple.  
  
"Well I think that's all for now. Colonel, would you please mind giving them a tour of the base." General Hammond had seen a protest coming, and so his voice in no way suggested that this was a request. Jack noticed this, and quickly cut off his sharp remark and instead said "Right. The tour. Any particular place you want me to show them...?" He broke off at this point, receiving one of Hammonds' best 'this is a really bad day so you just try to make it any worse' glares, and hurriedly continued "Well, let's go then shall we? You want to come and help Daniel?"  
  
"Oh no, I really can't. Lots of work to do, you know how it is." Daniel was trying to avoid looking at Captain Cooper. He really didn't want to spend any time at all with him, let alone give him an hour long tour around the base.  
  
"I said are you coming Daniel?" Jack said much more forcefully, thinking 'If I've got to miss the Simpsons then he can miss looking at his little rocks for one evening'.  
  
"Uh, yeah sure." said Daniel 'after all, it would look suspicious if i was to be really unfriendly, so I might as well make an effort to be friendly towards Captain Trimmer. Besides, maybe Captain Cooper just wants to be friends anyway' He finally managed to convince himself. "Plus at least he can't challenge me while we're in company." he said under his breath as the last person walked out of the door.  
  
"Sorry, did you just say something there Daniel?" Jack poked his head back through the door, still concerned about his friends' odd behaviour.  
  
"What?" he finally came out of his thoughts art his friends worried voice. He suddenly realised that he should try to ignore the fact that there was another immortal in the area and just make sure that he was always with someone. 'He will never be stupid enough to fight me in front of other people' he concluded, and rushed out to join Jack and the others.  
  
"And finally, here is the commissary. The place where we eat, eat and...eat" he finished lamely "So, any questions?"  
  
The tour had indeed gone on for the best part of an hour, but Jack had found that he'd actually rather enjoyed showing the two men around. He took an instant liking to Captain Cooper, who he had found to have exactly the same sense of humour, and even as they had just walked out of the briefing room Cooper he'd groaned under his breath "Couldn't they have chosen a better time? I'm missing the Simpsons!" to which Jack had laughed and a friendship was instantly made. Captain Trimmer wasn't too bad once he'd loosened up a bit, but then he'd started talking, and since Daniel had found out about his interest in ancient cultures they hadn't stopped once. They seemed to get along right away making Jack like him more, if only because Daniel seemed to liked him. They were just behind him at that moment, and it didn't seem like they'd noticed that they had stopped. They were chattering on about some weird theological debate about some old ruins that sounded as though it had been going on for centuries, and was not likely to stop any time soon. The two of them obviously, even to an amateur like Jack, had very different opinions on it. Whatever the subject was.  
  
"I don't see how you can support his theory Dr. There is absolutely no evidence..."  
  
"But Pete," Jack raised his eyebrows at that. First name terms already? "that is only because no one has ever found any yet. I am confident that..."  
  
'Since when did the army start employing soldiers for Daniels' benefit? He sounds like a Daniel clone to me, and they still let him in the army?' But he couldn't think badly of Captain Trimmer – as long as he never had to go on a mission with the two of them together, he'd never get any peace! He didn't think that he could cope with two Daniel's to chase after. One was way more than enough.  
  
"End of the tour guys." he said a little more loudly, receiving no more response than the last time. He shared a glance with Captain Cooper. People were starting to stare at the two arguing men; they rarely saw the doctor so worked up other than in the briefing room trying to persuade General Hammond to let them go somewhere, and they were already putting Captain Trimmer in their 'like' or 'dislike' pile accordingly. Captain Cooper was just standing there grinning at the scene that was playing out before him.  
  
"Captain, stand to attention, NOW!" Jack shouted, and years of automatic responses kicked in making Captain Trimmer straighten immediately, while Daniel just turned round looking very annoyed at being interrupted.  
  
"OK, it's break time. You are now free to leave. And continue your argument which I am sure will go on for many more years somewhere and sometime else." he added under his breath, just loud enough for them to here. But to Daniels' look he continued exasperatedly "We've got a briefing at 0800 hours tomorrow morning, and I don't want to be the one killed by General Hammond because you're late due to you spending all night yapping."  
  
Daniel smiled at this, but then quickly remembered what he wanted to ask Jack. "Um, you couldn't give me a lift home when you leave could you? Only I think my car's bust or something, and it's too late to do anything about it now." He said the lie with ease, but was still relieved when Jack seemed to accept it with just a "well I told you to get a new one" comment. 'now I've just got to find excuses for as long as Captain Cooper is here' he thought 'and break my car so that my excuse is true'. But for now he was happy just to say goodbye to everyone else, get changed, sort out all his things for the night, sign out and go home to sleep until the morning.  
  
I know they're all a little grumpy at some point today, but that's mainly because someone is writing a really bad fic that they don't want to be in. I only hope I can finish before they run away :-S. Reviews please! 


	5. Meshland?

SOOOOOOOOO sorry for the delay. Exams, holiday in Yorkshire and more exams just don't go with updating fanfics. But I did finally get round to writing it (so please don't hate me for taking so long) and so I must also apologise for this chapter as a whole. 2 of my friends (please blame them – it's all their fault and my wacky imagination's) bet that I couldn't write a chapter which fulfilled all of their demands, i.e. as many words as they could think of that I had to include in it. If this kind of thing is not your thing, please feel free to ignore it; the only thing you need to know is that Jack is getting suspicious of Daniel. Normal services will be resumed next week I promise, so if you hate it please don't be put off forever.  
  
RUpuzzled2?: Hope you don't hate this, but if you do please feel free to pretend it never happened. Thanks sooo much for all your support, I really appreciate it.  
  
Icealina: Well I wasn't going to do it that way, and I did have a plan, but after thinking about it I came up with another idea...  
  
adora-chillwind, Aviva Blumenthal: thanks, I hope I don't disappoint you.  
  
The next week went by very quickly for Daniel, and he needn't have worried at all about a certain captain. The very next day SG1 were sent on a trade negotiations mission to try to acquire some new technology that could help in their fight against the Goa'uld. They had heard about the Meshes one week previously, and SG7 with which first contact had been made had said that they were an extremely friendly race (along with a load of other babble that Jack hadn't been listening to during the briefing) ad were quite willing to come to some agreement.  
  
The full scale of their technological advances were first discovered by Jack when he first stepped onto the planet. He had barely got out his first "Hello Meshland" before their weapons were, in true Star Trek style as Jack liked to point out, 'beamed' off of them by some strange laser beam. Then they were escorted straight to the 'negotiations room', where they had no been sitting for the last four and a half hours. Jack had counted every second of it.  
  
"Isn't it time we had a coffee break or something here?" Jack burst out suddenly, causing everyone to stare directly at him. Eventually he became uncomfortably with the attention, and so to fill the silence said "Well you've been going on for hours and..." failing to find a good argument, or even any at all, continued "But Daniel I'm bored!"  
  
"Come on Jack, we've just got to a vital part of the negotiations" said Daniel with more than a hint of a smile. He knew all to well just how bored Jack was feeling, as he himself was feeling a little fed up himself with the amount of progress being made, if not to such extremes. But he knew that he couldn't stop yet, and that Jack would just hold things up. He would have to come up with a compromise.  
  
"There isn't a kids' room here, is there?" he turned suddenly towards Lushep, the Mesh who was leading the meeting. At Lushep's blank look he went on "You know, where all your children are hanging out at the moment. Only I think my friend here" he gestured towards Jack "needs some people of his own mental age to play with." 'He he' he thought to himself 'that'll teach him not to drag me away from my rocks when I'm not ready. Oops, I mean artefacts of course. I really have been spending way too much time with Jack.' Lushep didn't seem to quite understand this request, but agreed to it anyway, and people soon came up to Jack.  
  
"Well at least there aren't any trees" Daniel called over to Jack as he was escorted to the nearest 'kiddies' room'. Jack was really looking forward to find a room full of kids playing games that he could join in with, and maybe even teach them a few of his own (he had yet to find a planet where baseball was popular) and most of all where there were no trade negotiations taking place. But what he didn't expect to find was a huge square box. There were children in it, which could supposedly make this count as a 'kiddies room', but while there were too many to count or even make a rough estimate they were far from playing baseball. They were just sitting in no particular order that Jack could see, and they were all looking in totally different directions with no one even looking at anyone else. They didn't seem surprised that a man in a strange outfit had just walked into the room. The only reaction that he received at all was a middle-aged man, the only one in the room, who was stationed just inside the room.  
  
"Ignore the ignominious pig and continue" was all the man said without even looking up. Jack, quite obviously, thought that this was quite rude, and was about to automatically come back with one of his facetious remarks when something stopped him. He started to feel queasy, as if his stomach was trying to find its way to his head without a map, and he was just starting to wonder if he had suddenly gotten high on drugs when he saw a bright pink, polka-dotted cat appear right in front of him. He took a step back, and found himself pressed against the wall 'I don't remember the room being this green' he thought 'I knew I shouldn't have taken those sweets Collins gave me, he made me drunk!'  
  
He somehow made his way to the door, and jumped out quickly for a breath of air, still feeling very confused and above all stressed – he really needed a holiday. But he wasn't free yet, as he felt a tickle at his feet only to find some strange ivy lining the floor and creeping towards him, however when he touched it, it was only to find that he could put his hand right through it as if it was a hologram. Making a mental not to kill Daniel for making him come out here on his own, he was about to leave when he saw out of the corner of his eye a weird old sword that looked exactly like something you saw in one of those old samurai films. He tried to kick a particularly devious looking cat out of the room with a move he'd learnt in Iraq, failing quite obviously, and walked up to the large weapon on the other side of the room. He fingered it gently, remembering when two of his old friends Ali and Becky had actually shown him one of these, years ago when he was still in college. He saddened as he remembered how little they'd kept in touch after the death of Joan, one of Becky's kin, and he had joined the air force.  
  
However he was quickly pulled out of these miserable thoughts by a loud bang and the sound a car would make if it had just crashed into a marsh - squelch. It wasn't until he was sure that there was no danger, and it was just another 'hallucination', that he pulled himself off the floor, ignored the pounding in his head that he received for jumping head first onto the floor, and looked at the remaining items on the table – only three of which he realised with a shock he didn't recognise. The table was covered with their weapons which had been 'beamed' from them by the pink lights that looked as thought they had come from the laser park in Stevenage. The only things he didn't recognise were two small daggers arranged in a cross shape with XXXX engraved on the handles, and the large curved sword, a katana as he later found out: but why were these things in Daniel's pile?  
  
A sudden crash brought his mind back to the stravaganza that was this planet as a giant daffodil broke through the door to the 'kiddies room'. He left his weapons on the table, waving his arms through a pencil case in the shape of a set of traffic lights just to make sure that they still weren't real, and added strangulation to the long list of deaths he was planning for Daniel when he saw him next. He tried to ignore it all, and block the world out, but the little puppy in a Sherlock Holmes outfit talking about how "orange squash is just gospel, darling" he couldn't take it any more. He ran into the next room as fast as he could, and then the next, and then the next, until he crashed straight into Daniel, who was grumbling about some gramatic treason that had just been committed.  
  
"Ah Jack, we were just coming to get you" Daniel said, and as the last Big Mac filled with sweeties disappeared into oblivion, Jack pointed his finger accusingly at him.  
  
"It was bad enough that you drew polka-dots all over my atlas so that I couldn't even see England, let alone Cornwall, but this as a practical joke is ridiculous!" Jack cried to his friend, who to his surprise just smiled.  
  
"Oh, did you have the one of a circus on a cloud?" he said way too eagerly "I hear that one's very popular among young children.  
  
"No, but I did have the one of a chicken wearing a cardigan." Jack was practically screaming by now. "So Daniel, tell me, what the hell is going on here!"  
  
But now Daniel's look was not of excitement, but rather of puzzlement. "Didn't you know?"  
  
"NO!" yelled Jack, but Daniel was too used to him by now, and he didn't even flinch.  
  
"But we were all told in the briefing this morning."  
  
Jack's anger subsided as he replayed the mornings activities, and found that he vaguely remembered a lot of science babble, the words 'visual illusions' coming up a couple of times, and, if he really concentrated, he could even remember (if extremely dimly) the SGC. "OK then, let's just assume for the moment that a certain officer just happened to...not hear a word of it."  
  
He realised that he'd said something wrong when Sam's eyes glazed over, so he hurriedly mumbled "hypothetically", and moved his gaze, pleading Daniel to help him.  
  
"Well, then this certain officer would have to know that this planet is extremely technologically advanced, I'd say at least..." Daniel started.  
  
"Look, I was awake for that bit, and even if I wasn't I think I could have guessed that." He snapped as Daniel smiled at his sudden confession.  
  
"Then you will also know that they have recently decided to...branch out, as it were." He fumbled with his glasses for a moment before continuing. "You see, for any civilisation to have improved their culture to such an extent that there are no longer any more improvements left to be made, well, things would get kinda dull."  
  
"But dull is good," interrupted Jack "I happen to like it." He tried to ignore the coughs behind him that were trying, and failing, to hide their true purpose. "But what's with the crazy images? I'm pretty sure they don't have circuses here, aren't they too advanced for that?"  
  
"Well they decided to see if random images could be produced from the human brain and be projected in a way that only the person in question could see them."  
  
"Oh," Jack said, his rampage finally over, "Random images?" He was thrilled by this point: not real = no sword. No more words with Daniel after all.  
  
"Yes sir." Sam was a little disappointed at not being allowed to do her science bit. "But it only works when you are within a certain radius of the grey room, and they're not even solid." It's not like you can pick any of the items up yet. They're still working on that."  
  
"What do you mean 'they're not solid'? How come I was picking some of them up?"  
  
"That's impossible." Sam's face showed honest confusion "It must have been real."  
  
'Maybe that chat with Daniel isn't as unnecessary as I thought. But I think I'll just keep an eye on him. Just for the moment.'  
  
Love it? Hate it? Wanna see more of it? (In a new story of course, coz I don't think I could cope with another one of these in this story) I PROMISE I'll have a normal chapter next week (I've already started it) but reviews will always speed me up!!! 


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